


Caffeine Love

by MisleadingDysLEXIa, Yrs_Forever



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Coffee, College, Gay, Lams - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-17
Updated: 2018-10-22
Packaged: 2019-03-06 04:47:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 16,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13403781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MisleadingDysLEXIa/pseuds/MisleadingDysLEXIa, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yrs_Forever/pseuds/Yrs_Forever
Summary: John has been questioning his sexuality for years, but he has denied any possibility that he was gay until he met Alex. Alex works at a small Starbucks on campus and when they meet sparks fly. Will Alex and John end up together or will John not be able to face the fact he is gay. Will Alex end up with John or will he follow the social norm and end up with Eliza? Find out more in Caffeine Love!





	1. Chapter 1

Darkness... everywhere I turn it's there. Everything I breathe is darkness. It fills my lungs taking my once lively breathes and turning it into smoke. I run hoping to find a way out, but its hopeless. Screams escape, echoing through the emptiness. A small light begins to grow in the distant, growing brighter by the second. I run as fast as I can toward the light, air finally making it through my lungs and quickly getting knocked out as I hit the ground in front of the light. I look up and see a doorway with a figure in the light...

I gasp waking up suddenly breathing heavily. It was just a dream... I rub my eyes groggily as Lafayette peaks into my room.

"Dude you alright?" he says slowly, almost seeming as a joke. Did he mean to say it like that?

"Uh. Yeah just a bad dream." I chuckle softly rubbing the back of my neck as I feel my cheeks redden.

"Ok, John just start getting ready, you're coming with me and Herc to go get some coffee." Laf smirks leaving

"Laf! Why do I have to gooooooo." I sigh slumping back into my bed staring at the ceiling. The dream keeps replaying in my head as I lay there. What could it have meant? I slowly get up and begin getting ready. After pulling my curls back into a low ponytail we leave.

Soon after walking through campus to the closest Starbucks, Hercules and Lafayette start talking about some girls they had seen at the bar the other night and I mostly just nod along. It really didn't intrigue me on any stand points.

"John have you met any cute ladies lately?" Laf shoves me teasingly.

"Uhh, no I've really been too busy lately for that kind of stuff..."

"Lately? You never do." Hercules laughs teasingly. I feel my cheeks get redder.

"Fine then, I'll come with you guys next time." I say smugly, hoping the subject will change soon.

"Good mon ami. Laf throws one arm around my shoulder and interlocks his other with Hercs as we walk down the street goofily. As we approach the small café I could almost feel the giddiness emanating from Lafayette.

"My followers are going to be thrilled to see this!" Laf giggles to himself slightly as he starts taking a live video, at least the closest thing to a giggle you can get out of him.

"Why do any of them care about what kind of coffee you get." I tease him, Herc sending me a warning glare.

"Um, because the galaxy frappuccino came out today and I shall be the one that tells them whether it is good enough to get. Without me they would go and get it and it could turn out to be trash and they would regret even living so I am their lord and savior right now so hmf." He sticks his tongue at me as we enter. I snicker slightly as I shove him softly. Herc and I make our way to the back of line laughing at Laf as he dazzles his way up to the front of the line. That's when I look up and saw him.

Hamilton's POV

*BzzBzzBzz*

"It's already 8?" I look at my watch with a sigh. I couldn't stay asleep last night so I just decided to write a little and head back to bed... I guess that didn't work. I get up and turn off my alarm yawning softly.

"Good morning." I smile up at my roommate.

"Hey you're actually out of your room." He chuckled eating some pancakes, "Hey I left some for you if you want some."

"Nah, it's ok I'll just stick with coffee." I smile pouring the sweet, sweet caffeine into a small cup from the cabinet. After a few minutes I finish my coffee putting the mug into the sink and leave for work. I really don't want to go to work today. Especially since the dang gravity frap came out today and it's probably gonna be packed with Insta nerds.

I soon arrive to the Starbucks on campus and head to the back to put my apron on. I nod my head at Burr slightly trying to be nice. Last time I had worked the same shift as him we didn't get along so well... let's just say some coffee beans were put in a place no coffee bean should ever be, but today's a new day, a new start.

The shift was going boringly normal with the usual weirdly specific orders and awkward encounters, nothing too out of the ordinary, but then he walked in.  
A group of guys walked in, bumping into each other laughing. The loudest of them wormed his way to the front, silencing the other two.

"Hello sir. how may I help-"

"I would like a galaxy frap, bon Monsieur, light with the whip cream. Oh and venti." The man was tall. If not for the way he was leaning on the counter bearing a jokingly seductive smile, I might have been a little intimidated. He looked like a kid at a candy store with a pocket full of his recent allowance and his head full of dreams. It was hard not to laugh.

"Okay, that will be $4.15." He handed me the money and I wrote his name on the cup passing it onto Aaron. I look up about to say 'next,' but my words get stuck in my throat as I see him. His face perfectly shaped to the point, every freckle perfect like a piece of art. They filled his face and arms... it would take days to count and- crap, we just made eye contact. Is he blushing?

"SIR!" A man yelled staring stupidly at me.

"Oh sorry sir, how may I help you..."

John's POV

Oh my god who is that? Was he staring at me? No he couldn't have been... why are my cheeks turning hot.. quit it John get back to reality.  
I made my way slowly up to the line Herc behind me. My hands began to shake... why are they shaking? Is it just me or did it get really freakin' hot in here? Wait am I next? Oh no what am I going to say- oh god help me.

"Hi how can I help you." He smiled softly at me. Wow his smile is gorge- "Hello sir?" His face grew into a small smirk. I blushed softly. Damn it John...

"Oh, sorry- can I have a chai tea please?" I smile softly. Did he smirk more? No.. I'm seeing things.

"Of course. That will be $3.59." I nod giving him the money.

"What's your name?"

"Wh-aa-ttt? My.. name?" I asked confused. Why does he need my name.

"So I can tell you when your order's ready." He laughed softly. I just now see the sharpie in his hand, duh.

"Ohhh. My name is uh..,"SPEAK FOR GOD SAKES, "uh John." I finally get out. I tried not to look him straight into his eyes as embarrassment fills my body.

"Okay uh..uh John. It will be done in a minute." He smiles turning away.. wait did he just wink at me? No I swear John your crazy. I walk to a booth where Laf is sitting still streaming with his followers. I try not to laugh as he pulls me beside him.

"And I'll buy one of you a free Starbucks card if any of you can count how many freckles are on his face." Laf chuckles poking me on the cheek.

"You don't even know how many freckles I have, I don't even know." I laugh as he shoves me off the seat. Hercules comes back after a few minutes.

"That took you a while." Laf pouted at Herc as he sat down beside him.

"Can I not talk to anyone else but you." He smirked at Laf shoving him slightly.

"Nope you can only talk to mon." He said in a pouting tone. If someone else was watching this you would think they were together. I laugh at the thought.

"What's so funny." Herc looks at me goofily. Oops..

"Ahh nothing." I slump in my seat slightly looking over to the barista. Everything seemed to fade away when I was looking at him. Everything just went.. still. I couldn't tell you what Laf and Herc were laughing about or when the waiter came with our drinks. It seemed as if it were just me and him left in the world...

"JOHN." I wake out of my daze to Laf shaking my shoulder.

"Oh sorry I zoned out.." I turn away from the barista.

"What were you staring at?" Laf looked in the direction of where I was staring.

"Nothing important.."

"Okay then let's head back to the dorms." Herc nodded standing up.

"Sure" I smiled slightly. For once I really didn't want to go... I grabbed my chai tea and we left. As we were walking I looked down at my cup for a second..."uh.. uh John" was written on the side of the cup. I smiled slightly taking a sip.


	2. Chapter 2

Darkness... everywhere I turn it's there. Everything I breathe is darkness. It fills my lungs taking my once lively breathes and turning it into smoke. I run hoping to find a way out, but its hopeless. Screams escape, echoing through the emptiness. A small light begins to grow in the distant, growing brighter by the second. I run as fast as I can toward the light, air finally making it through my lungs and quickly getting knocked out as I hit the ground in front of the light. I look up and see a doorway with a figure in the light. I try to move closer to it, reaching out my hand hesitantly...

I wake up suddenly breathing heavily once again. Why can't I sleep without having that same dream? I sigh covering my face with my hands. Thinking through the dream hoping for an answer.

Slowly I get out of bed walking out into the dorm rooms kitchen. I see Lafayette already at the table eating some... I'm not quite sure.

"What are you even eating." I sit down beside him picking up one of the roll like breads. 

"Good morning to you too, mon bon ami. Just a croissant and a tartine with some juice. Would you like to try it?" He smiled happily. It's funny I've known him for years and that smile has never fazed me. Don't get me wrong Laf is a good-looking guy, but I would never think of him anything more than a friend, but... Alexander. The barista at the Starbucks on campus, has somehow consumed my waking days. He's all I've been able to do is think about since -

"John??" I snap back into reality once again.

"Oh yes I'd love to." I smile taking a bite out of it. What am I thinking about. Alexander is just a friend... if he even is that. Every time I try to speak to him the words get stuck in my throat. It's as if his very existence numbs my body. No stop John. You're not like this. 

"Its tastes great." I smile at him. "So, I was wondering if we could go to Starbucks again today." I say stuffing more of the croissant in my mouth to hide my growing flush.

"Again? I thought you hated that place... now it seems that the only thing you ever want to do." Laf chuckles sipping his juice. A small smirk grows on my face as he reminds me of a little kid.

"What, can a person not like their Chai tea." I chuckle taking his juice to drink some.

"Con!" He fake gasps shoving me.

"What was that? Sorry I don't speak Lafayette." I laugh finishing his juice.

"JERK!" He pulls the back of my seat making me fall with a laugh.

"Owwww" I whine laughing at him. "See now you have to go to get some more to drink."

"Not necessarily... I mean we have some more juice in the..."

"Come on pleaseeeeee" I whine getting on my knees begging with a fake pouty face.

"Okay, Payson." He smirks. 

"What?" I say thoroughly confused. I need to learn French. 

"Peasant." He laughs at me. A flush grows on my face as I shove him standing up.

"So, should we invite Hercules?" I say throwing on a flannel.

"No, he's at work today."

"He has a job? Where does he work?" We walk out the dorm and head toward the coffee shop.

"He's being an apprentice for a tailor before classes start, you know since his majors in fashion." He chuckles.

"If you looked at Hercules you really wouldn't think he liked fashion." I say as we turn the corner. I could almost see the Starbucks sign. As usually my heart skipped a beat at the site. My hands grew shaky and I felt butterflies grow in my stomach. What's wrong with me...

Hamilton's POV

Why can't I just ask him out. I don't even care if he shoots me down its not like we know each other all that well. He just comes in everyday now and we talk about whatever I can actually get out before I have to send out his order. I wish I could talk to him outside of work, but is it too clique to write my number on his cup... what if he gets freaked out. I don't know. I've never felt so apprehensive or anxious about anyone before...

*BzzBzzBzz*

Ugh not again... I get up and turn off my alarm. Another night of no sleep. I pull my hair back into a small ponytail and change into a red shirt with some ripped jeans. As I open my door I see my roommate leaving the dorm.

"Leaving so soon?" I ask walking over to the coffee pot... oh sweet, sweet coffee.

"Yea I'm starting my job today remember." He chuckles walking out. "See you later Alex." 

"See ya." I smile sitting down with the warm, luscious coffee. I soon finish my drink and wash the mug putting it back in the cabinet to be used again tomorrow. I leave the dorm room locking it behind me as I head to work. I really didn't dread it as much now that he came most days. The days he doesn't makes me feel anxious. What if he stops coming. What if I never get to see the cute flush he always has on his cheeks or hear his gentle voice that seems to roll off his tongue even though he always seems nervous... do I make him that way? No that can't be it.

I walk into work, heading to the back to put on my apron. Burr seems not to be here today. Hmm maybe today will be a good day. I chuckle heading up to register.

"I can help who's next." 

John's POV

Laf and I walk in. Of course, he makes his way up to the front. I don't know how he can be so calm, cool, collected. I wish I could be more like that... what is wrong with me? Why can't I just be normal.

As I move closer to the front of line I feel the anxiety rise in me. I look at his face. He looks so calm and peaceful. His hair pulled back loosely in a small ponytail with some strand layering around his face. I take in the image trying to hold onto it as I could before I realized It was my turn to speak to him. Just look him in the eyes... be confident. 

"Hey Alex." I smile leaning onto the counter smugly. 

"Hey John. The usual?" He looks down at the register. Wow his eyes... snap out of it.

"Do I really come here that often that you've memorized it?" I chuckle rubbing the back of my neck slightly. 

"Well almost everyday, except yesterday but whose keeping count." He chuckles. "That'll be $3.59."

I nod pulling out the money from my wallet. As I hand him the money our hands grazed for a second. I feel the heat rise to my cheeks and my knees feel weak, putting more of my weight on him. My face grows red as I pull away my hand. 

"Sorry..." I mumble out all of my confidence flying out the window. 

"No need to be sad the pleasures all mine." He smirks walking away leaving me standing there speechless. What did he mean by that. One sentence and you have captivated me and my thoughts. I walk over to Laf still dazed when I finally come back to reality. 

"So, you took a long time with your order did you change it up." He teased me as I sit down across from him. 

"No, I just took some time to talk to Alex." I shrugged trying to act nonchalant.

"You know the barista's name?" 

"Well I mean we do come here all the time, might as well right." I tap the table nervously. Why am I nervous he's just a friend? If even that.

Hamilton's POV

Why did say that? Was I too forward? Why do I care if I was too forward? I'm Alexander Hamilton for peat sakes. You know what. You are not gonna keep doing this. You are not going to wait for it. I look down at his cup with a deep breath grabbing a sharpie. 

John's POV 

"Ah, here comes our drinks." Laf smiles watching the waiter bring his ridiculous looking frap and my tea. 

"Merci." Laf grabs our drinks handing me mine. "Come, let's go. We should go and get some books for our classes."

"Oh yeah. I forgot classes start soon." I won't be able to come as often... maybe he won't work as much once classes start back up. I look back at him one last time with a soft smile and walk out with Laf. I'm going to miss seeing him everyday when school starts. Maybe I'll have a class with him. I take a small drink and look over at Laf to say something. Probably about how his coffee choice was ridiculous, but I stop seeing a smirk growing on his face.

"What's so funny?" I question him, "Did I spill some tea on me?" I look down at my shirt.

"What's that on your cup?" His smirk grows as I look down and see something written on the side of the cup. 

"Uh... uh John uh... uh call me 888-728-1275 ;)"


	3. Chapter 3

***WARNING brief cussing/violence***

**Hamilton's POV**

_"When I'm with you, hours feel like seconds, without you days feel like years."_

A wise man once said this and boy was he right. Every time I'm around you I feel a sense of peace and nervousness all at the same time. So, like any other logical person would do, I gave you my number... FOUR DAYS AGO. And he hasn't came to Starbucks the last few days... is he avoiding me? I probably scared him. I knew I shouldn't have written my number on his cup.

I sigh sipping my coffee as I walk down the street. Even though it was 80 degrees I still felt a small chill go up my spine thinking of John. I need to forget about him.. it's clear he never had any interest in me. Just another illusion created by my mind. But who could judge me for liking him, what with his gorgeous curly hair, and bright green eyes that seem to dance with the light, and the way his nose scrunches up when he laughs... stop. Those are just memories now. It's time to focus on school. School starts on Monday... I should probably start getting supplies.

I walk to the closest school store on campus, pulling up the list of supplies on my phone, I walk through the aisles not paying much attention. I throw in a grammar text book, along with an advanced writing book into my basket. As I turn the corner, still looking down at my phone, I run into something and watch as it falls to the floor. Wait not an it... a PERSON.

"I'm so sorry.." I reach out a hand to the person lying on the floor in front of me.

**John's POV**

I should call his number. Just pick up the phone and call him. It's as simple as that. Just pick up the phone...

I stare quizzically at the cup as if it should be the one giving me the answer. I sigh after a few minutes and turn away from the cup to look up at the clock. 7:40pm... IT'S BEEN TWO HOURS. I swear what's wrong with me. Why can't I just face the truth... a memory flashes through my mind-

_"_ _David, David count to thirty then come find me!!" I giggle looking around for a good spot._

_"_ _Why do I have to count first."  He pouted sitting on the ground covering his eyes._

" _Cause I'm older."_

_"Only by two weeks-"_

_"Still older, now count!" I giggle running off through the park. I look back to see if he was still counting before I begin to climb the tree. My hands scrape against the bark slightly as I try to climb causing red marks, but it's worth it for the perfect hiding spot. As I get about six feet above the ground I find a pretty sturdy looking branch and sit on it. Now that I'm actually up here I see I'm in a pretty open spot... I hope he won't see me._

_After what feels like centuries I turn to the side to be surprised by an eager looking David sitting on the near by branch._

_"_ _How long have you been sitting there!" I shriek laughing._

_"A_ _few minutes I wanted to see how long it would before you noticed me." He giggled softly moving to sit on my branch beside me._

_We continue to sit there a while and joke around with each other before we fall silent. I stare at the now lowering sun with a small smile._

_"_ _Why do you think people wanna get married?" I ask still staring at the sun._

_"_ _Well when people get older they just have to." I could see him shrug slightly still leaning on the tree._

_"_ _I guess, but it's just weird... like do you ever kiss anyone?" I turn to face him._

_"_ _Like they do on TV?" He chuckled._

_"_ _Mhm."_

_"_ _No." He mumbled softly._

_"_ _Maybe we should... just to see what the big deal is." I say softly. I could feel my cheeks burning. I didn't understand why._

_"_ _But I don't know how."_

_"_ _Here practice on your arm like this." I put my lips together and kiss my arm._

_"_ _Like this?" He copied me and we both started laughing goofily._

_"_ _Okay enough practice." I say as I stop laughing. "Close your eyes.."_

_"_ _But then I won't be able to see."_

_"_ _Just do it." I put up my fist jokingly like I would hit him if he didn't._

_"_ _Okay, okay." He chuckled closing his eyes._

_"_ _Okay on the count of three.." I sit closer in front of him. "One..." I could feel my heart beat quicken, "two.." My breath faltered slightly as I leaned in, "Two and a half.." I said nervously taking a deep breath, "Three." I pecked his lips softly, pulling away after a second. His eyes were wide open now. I tried to hold back a laugh but failed. Soon we were both laughing but it didn't last long before it was interrupted._

_"_ _John get your ass down from there!" I could see my father charging this way. I hope he didn't see-_

_"_ _Get down from there I am not raising no fagot." You could here the devil himself coming out of him._

_Dad I'm sorry it won't happen again!" I plead at him as I try to hold on to the branch, but it was too late. I was soon falling on my side with a loud pop and a huge cut from my hip to my chest where a thing sticking out of the tree had cut me. I screamed in pain as I curled up._

_"_ _Dad stop!" I cried as he picked me up from the ground forcefully._

_"_ _How dare you disrespect me like this. Pipe it before something worse happens."_

_He carried me to the car as a pain flooded my entire body. Before we left I looked up and waved goodbye to my only friend.. little did I know I would never see him again.._

Goosebumps course through my body as I think of the awful memory. No, no I don't like men..

My thought gets interrupted as Laf storms into my room.

"Mon bon ami get up." He walks over to me raising me from my seat.

"Laf stop that tickles." I laugh standing up. "What is it?"

"I'm tired of you staying your room like this you need to chill out.. take a break." He said motherly searching through my closest.

"I pretty much am taking a break as I'm not doing anything." I chuckle walking up to him.

"That's not what I mean. I mean that I am tired of you doing nothing soooo you are going out with moi and Herc." He said smugly throwing clothes about.

"Dude your making a mess." I chuckle picking up the items of clothing he throws on the floor.

"I'm just making your room look like you do." He smirks throwing another piece of clothing on the floor.

"Okay that hurt my ancestors." I laugh running a fake tear down my face with my finger. He rolled his eyes and pulled out a blue polo shirt with a nice pair of black jeans.

"Perfect.." He mumbled to himself as he ran back to his room and came back with a curl defining gel. "Vous shall steal all of the men... I MEAN ladies tonight." (Vous means you in French for those who don't know) I can see the smirk grow on his face as he teased me.

"Ladies." I say grabbing the shirt and pants from his hands.

"Whatever you say.. what happened with you and the barista guy by the way."

I looked away, taking off my shirt.

"Nothing.. he left his number on my cup a little over a week ago, but I never called it."

"Why, didn't you like hi-"

"No I didn't! I mean.. I like women not men." I try not to sound to defensive, but failed.

"Oh ok." He nodded dropping the subject.

After what feels like hours Laf finally finishes my hair the curls looking more defined than usual as the cup my cheeks and cover my shoulder. I didn't usually wear it down like this, but it looked nice.

"So will Herc be ready when we get there?" We leave and walk down the hall to his dorm.

"No actually he might not be home from his apprenticeship quite yet, but he will be any minute he said."

I nod as we enter the hallway to his dorm.

"What if the doors locked?" I question walking up to the door.

"His roommate should be home." I nod again as I knock on the door. As the door opens I could feel the color drain from my face...

"Hello..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My sister who is my editor was too lazy to edit this weeks so I'm just going to pray there aren't too many mistakes. Also if you have ever seen My Girl then you will understand back flash reference :) Enjoy!


	4. Chapter 4

**John's POV**

Why? Why out of every person who attends this college, out of the entire world did it have to be him to answer the door.

"Oh shit aren't you the barista?" Laf says almost like he was reading my mind. Yes it is the barista. Of course it is.

"Oh shit aren't you the Insta guy." He says sarcastically avoiding eye contact with me.

"Ha ha." Laf rolled his eyes flustered. What.. The Lafayette, the man of endless words, is speechless. Well, we're fucked.

"So, what are you guys doing here..?" Alex said nonchalantly. I should have called..

"Oh, well, when Hercules gets done with his apprenticeship, we're all going to go the bar together," he paused a moment, "Do you wanna come?" And that's when I died. Well at least I wish I did. It seemed like so many things crossed across Alex's face until it stopped with an... intrigued look. 

"Sure I'd love too." He said it sickeningly sweet. I think I'm going to get sick.

"Sounds great." I smile walking through the door without permission. If we are going to have to be around each other might as well try to enjoy it. When I turned around I saw him studying me.. like I was some strange, unforeseen creature. Then his face turned into a bright smile and walked over to the kitchen taking my confidence with him.

"So how are we going to get into the bar. I mean I don't know about you guys, but I'm underage." He pulled out a coffee mug and poured some coffee into it. Gross.

"Oh that's easy we have fake IDs." I sit down on his couch avoiding any eye contact with him.

"Yea.." Laf digs into his pocket. "I think I have an extra one.. ahah! Would you rather be Daveed Diggs or Lin Manuel?" He holds them up swaying them around goofily. Alex laughed walking up to him.

"Lin.. he's by far the more attractive one." He smirked slightly, Laf gasping in return.

"How dare you, Daveed Diggs is by far the most dashing."

"No that's what ladies do when they see him. Lin is better."

"Boys, boys I hate to break it too ya, but Anthony Ramos is by far superior." I smirk walking up to them. When I approached I noticed him tense up. I ignored it and continued on speaking. We all joked with each other for a while before Hercules came home.

"So Herc you never told us the Barista was your roommate." Laf walked over to Herc nudging his arm.

"You guys never asked." He chuckled putting down his bag. "I'm going to go freshen up and then we can head out-"

"Can I help!" Laf nearly shrieked out causing me to wince and chuckle.

Herc sighed walking into his room, "Of course you can Laf." Laf smiled from ear to ear and skipped into his room behind him. Now it was just me and him.. great.

**Hamilton's POV**

"So are you excited for tonight." I sit down on the chair farthest from him. Why did you not call me back. Are you straight..? I guess we'll figure out tonight.

"Yea I guess, I mean, I'm usually too busy to go with them when they go out-"

"Oh so is that why you haven't came to Starbucks lately. Because your too busy." I said the last part a little more harsh than originally intended, but what's the point in being kind hearted.

"Uh well, I guess.."

"Or was it something else." I lean into my seat staring at him quizzically. I could see his cheeks redden. A smirks forms across my face with success.

"Ok we're ready." Herc and Laf come in. "You guys ok?" Herc walks up to me.

"Of course." I stand up with a smile. "Shall we go?" Herc smiles putting a hand on my shoulder then walking out. I talked to him about some of what was going on, but I haven't gone into great detail for a few days. Why should someone who never cared get to make me feel bad... I won't give him the right.

We left the apartment shortly after and left in Hercs car to the bar. I smiled looking around at the bar. It had the feel of a club. There were ladies dancing with less than more of clothing... not that I wouldn't usually care, but it's just different now.

I looped arms with Herc and took him over to the counter to get a drink with me.

"So how are you and Laf." I ask Herc while I look at the menu to see what drink I would like.

"Just friends as- tequila Manhattan mix." Herc pauses to tell the bartender what he wanted.

"Just a Miller Light for me." The bartender nods and goes to get our drinks.

"As I was saying, we're just friends. I mean it doesn't help that he is completely and utterly straight and I'm crazy for thinking anything different." Herc sighed grabbing his drink from the waiter and sipping it.

"Maybe he's bi?" I try to give some hope, but I can tell he's starting to block off the subject.

"It doesn't matter... so how are you doing?"

"Pretty good. I can tell I made him feel uncomfortable, but who cares.. I swore he was gay." I drink my miller light trying not to spit it out. I really wasn't a drinker.

"So did I honestly, like he's never had a girlfriend as long as I've known him, he always makes an excuse when we come here to meet girls, and after he met you all he wanted to do was go to the coffee shop and he hates coffee."

"Wait he HATES coffee?? Guess I can't date him then." I laugh jokingly.

"Totally." Herc chuckles looking over at Laf.

"Go ask him to dance." I nudge his arm.

"No that's weird.." Herc moved back slightly.

"Come on here." I grab him by the arm and pull him over to Laf.

"Alex.." Herc mumbles as we get closer to him.

"Hey Laf want to dance with us?" I smirk softly.

"Sure." He smiles coming closer to us.

"Oh crap I forgot I.. uh.. have to go talk to John, but you guys have fun dancing together." I wink and walk away.

_"_ _You owe me one Herc."_ I mumble walking up to John.

**John's POV**

As soon as we get to the bar/club thing everyone disperses every which way leaving me alone to myself... of course. I look around for a while and finally find Lafayette chatting with some girls. They looked kind of familiar.. maybe I'd seen them around campus. I walk over to them and put on as good as a smile I could muster.

"Hey Laf who are your friends." I smile looking at the three of them. The tallest one of the bunch, with long curly black hair and eyes that could kill you with a single glare nodded at me. The other two look similar to her, but the one in the blue had long straight hair and a softer face than the other one. The last one in the yellow dress had long brown curls and rosy gold cheeks. She starred the most making my feel a little uncomfortable.

"These are the Schuyler sisters. The one in the pink is Angelica, the one blue is Eliza, and the one in the yellow is Peggy." Laf smiles turning back to them. Peggy shoved her sisters slightly making her way in front.

"It's a pleasure to meet you." She smiled putting out her hand for a shake I presume, but instead I took it in my hand and kissed it softly. "Nice to meet you as well." I smirk softly trying not to feel disgust. That better shut them up about my sexuality. Her face turned a bright pink, but her sister Angelica pulled her back a little.

"No." Angelica glared softly before softening her face a bit and smiling. "Nice to meet you." She seems crazy, but caring..

"To you as well." I nod and look at Eliza. "So do you guys attend Kings College?"

"Yes this will be my second year, Peggy's first, and Angelica's third."

"Nice it's my second year as well." I nod starting to get bored again. "So would you guys like to dance?"

"Yes! I mean... sure.." Peggy smiles looking at her sisters.

"Sounds great." Laf nods looping arms with Eliza and Angelica pulling them onto the dance floor. I smile and begin to dance a little, kind of nervous at first because I didn't want embarrass myself, but they start to dance as well making me feel much better.

After a few I could tell Peggy was drifting closer to me making me grow increasingly uncomfortable. What's wrong with me?

"I'm going to go get a drink.." I start to walk away slightly before Peggy grabs my arm.

"Hey come dance some more."

"In a few I need a break." I shrug off her hand and head to the counter.

"Four shots." I say putting down a 20.

"Of what-"

"Anything you got that I can get with a 20." I sigh looking down at my hands. She was clearly hitting on me why can't I just enjoy it for once? Why can't I just like her? Why can't I just get him out of my-

"Hey." I turn around and see the last face I wanted to.. Alex. I turned back around and take a shot.

"Why so blue?" He sits down close to me leaning over the counter. I take another shot.

"What did you realize you can't change who you are?" A smirk grew on his face.

"What do you mean." I croak out, the shot still burning my throat. He leaned closer to me making my squirm for a second before he put a hand on my shoulder.

"Your gay.." He hissed into my ear as I freezing up.

"N-no." I mumbled reaching for another shot.

"Don't deny it you know it's true." He grabbed one of my shots and drank it with one gulp. I tried to search his face to see if he winced at it, but everything was kind of glossy.. how long had I been sitting here.

"I-I'm not g-gay." I stumble over my words a bit taking my last shot.

"Come on take your shot, I know you want to." A smirk formed across his lips as he opened up his arms.

"How many t-times do I h-have to say i-it. I'm as straight as a n-noodle.. a n-nonc-cooked one." I stand up. As he laughs at me.

"It's true just you wait." I walk away trying not to stumble. I find Peggy laughing with some new girls as I approach her.

"Hey." I smile leaning into her slightly. Her face lit up.

"Hey-y John." She said putting her hands on my chest. Her breath reeked of alcohol.

"Why aren't y-you with y-you sister." I smile forcing myself to wrap my arms around her waist.

"Oh they are talking to Aaron and Thomas."

"Eww Thomas.." I say goofily. She giggled softly.

"So where have you been?" Peggy giggles softly pulling me aside.

"Oh... just talking to a friend what abou-" I didn't finish my sentence as she kisses me sloppily. I kiss back as much as I can, but it was a challenge.

"Hey d-do you want to come back to my place?" She said into my lips slightly pulling me tighter against her body... gro-

"S-sure." I stumble over my words, but try to stay calm. Go to HER house. I know what that means.. oh no. We begin to leave and I look back to see Alex eyes wide and mouth agape. I smirk and turn around wrapping my arm around her shoulder. What did I get myself into..

 

 

(*Editor note- Lauren's is literally me*)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Leave any suggestions you may have I'd love to see them! Until next time!


	5. Chapter 5

***WARNING  Contains brief NSFW, but it doesn't last long and it doesn't go all the way. I won't torture you guys with that... yet ;) haha I kid... maybe.**

**Hamilton's POV**

I kept a smirk on my face trying to stay confident as John stumbled away from me. There is no way he is.. wait what is he doing. Peggy... what is he doing with Peggy? Where are her sist- OH MY GOD. Did he.. did he just kiss Peggy! They're dating?! Oh shit oh shit.. wait THEIR LEAVING! HOW THEY CAN'T DRIVE.

I watch as John turns around one last time smirking at me as he walks away. I felt a hand come underneath my chin after a minute.

"Dude your gonna catch some flies if you keep standing like that." Laf laughed at me. 

"But.. but I thought.. what?" I stood there completely dumbfounded. What just happened?

"You ok?" Herc walked up to us standing awfully close to Laf. 

"John.. just left with Peggy."

"My man." Laf chuckled looking out at the door. 

"No he is not in the right state of mind to go.. he's had a lot to drink. What if him and Peggy try to drive drunk.. what if they walk and get lost? What if.."

"Dude chill out. Have a drink. Their going to be ok. They are adults they can handle themselves." Herc grabbed my arm taking us over to the bar. 

"Yea your right.. I'll just take a water though.. we need a driver." I smile sitting down on the bench. Hercules nods ordering him and Lafayette a beer and me a water. 

I can't believe he's straight.. I just.. now I see why he didn't call me back. I sigh turning around to scan the room. I wonder If Eliza knows that Peggy left. I mean telling Eliza she left can't hurt anything right? 

After a minute I find Eliza and walk over to her taking a sip of my water. 

"Hey Eliza." I grab her hand, catching the attention of her and.. who's that? A taller man with poufy, black, tangled hair towered above me and her. He stood straight giving him a tough, jock look. To someone else it might have intimidated them, but I mostly just ignored him. "Peggy left."

"What-"

"Hey we were talking buddy." The tall man barked. 

"Well I think it's ok if her bo-"

"Ignore Thomas Alex. And What do you mean Peggy left." Eliza said pulling me away from the group a bit. 

"I mean she left with a very drunk John. Do you know if she's drunken a lot tonight?" 

"Well she drank a margarita early, but she should be fine.. I'm not surprised she left with John. She seemed to have been flirting with him early-"

"Wait they're not dating." I say cutting off Eliza.

"Well, no they just met tonight." A slight wave of relief coursed through my body when she said that. It shouldn't have mattered, but it did. 

"Ok.. so do you think they will be ok?" 

"Yes they should be fine.. here in a few I'll call Peggy and see what's up if John doesn't come back to his dorm ok?" She smile grabbing my hand again. 

"Okay." I smile softly down at her. "I should probably go find Lafayette and Hercules I kind of ditched them earlier to find you." I chuckled still smiling at her. 

"Okay have fun." She smiled walking back to her conversation with.. oh yea.. Thomas. Ew. 

I walk back over to Laf and Herc feeling a lot more relieved than I had earlier in the evening. 

"Hey guys, how about we just all stay at Laf and John's dorms tonight... just to make sure he gets home safely." 

"Sure sounds good to me." Laf smiled his cheeks flushed madly as he swayed a little. How long have I been gone?! 

"Maybe we should leave now." I chuckle at Herc who finishes off his last beer. 

"S-*Hickup*ure." Herc smiles grabbing Laf's arm. 

We walk out of the bar, Laf and Herc leaning on each other to keep balanced. After making sure they are buckled I drive us back to the campus, my mind wondering on what John may be doing right now...

**John's POV**

After what felt like hours of walking and stumbling to Peggy's dorm we finally arrive. Everything just looks really blurry, however, so I can't make out what the room really looks like. 

"John..." I turn around and see Peggy's shape in a door way. "Come on in." She smiled grabbing my hand pulling me into her room. When we get in she shut's the door slowly and smiled up at me. "Turn off the lights." I could see her lips growing into a bigger smirk as she spoke to me. My stomach made a little flip as I walked closer to her and the light switch. As soon I flipped off the light I felt her lips slam into mine. It caught me a little off guard, but I try to get into the rhythm of it. Why doesn't this feel right? I push her onto the bed and climb on top of her kissing down her neck. I nibble on it softly leaving little marks where my teeth have touched it. I hear her moan softly making my stomach flip again, but not in a good way. After making it down to her collar bone I pull down on the zipper of her dress taking it off. I look at her for a second... nothing. She's beautiful... absolutely gorgeous, but I don't feel anything. I ignore my thoughts and kiss her more passionately this time biting her lip softly. I felt a tug on the bottom of my shirt. With a small, fake, smirk I help her take it off. After it's off I kiss my way down from her neck to her collar bone, nibbling it softly before making my way down further. I kiss all the way down to her stomach and her hips. I kiss each hip before I tug on her panties. I begin to pull it off with one hand as I massage her thigh with my other hand. 

"John..." Peggy moaned out softly. I smile and looked up at her softly to be surprised to not see her face. 

"Alex..?" I mumble out softly. 

"What..?" I shake my head slightly to see a confused Peggy. 

"Nothing." I smile again as I remover her panties. I look down at them slightly then back at her. In that moment it hit me. I wasn't feeling anything. I wasn't aroused at all. Tears began to form in my eyes as I dropped her underwear onto the floor. 

"John are you ok?" I shake my head, tears pouring down my face. 

"I can't do it.." I sob out.

"Why..? I thought you liked me.." I could hear the hurt in her tone. 

"Peggy I'm sorry I just, I can't I don't know what's wrong with me.."

"Get out.." She whispered softly curling up. 

"Peggy I'm s-"

"GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT!" She screamed at me throwing various items from her side table at me.

I run out of her room putting my arms up to cover my head. When running out I bump into various furniture, forgetting my shirt in the midst of the ciaos. Once I get outside I notice how dark it was and how unbalance I was. When did it get so cold.. I shivered as I walked down the street.

"Where am I.." I mumble looking around the streets. I bump into light posts still shaken up and pretty drunk. Why can't I just be normal? I continue walking for blocks still clueless as to where I was. I sigh looking around for a place to sit for a moment. I smile at a bench at a bus stop.

"Do you mind if I lay here?" I smile asking the bench before laying onto it. The cold bench makes me shiver more, but between the numbness from the alcohol and being emotionally drained I ignore it and soon fall asleep there. 

**Hamilton's POV**

"Where is he it's been hours!" I look down at my watch to see it reading 4:37 am. 

"Maybe he stayed with her after the, you know." Laf joked nudging my arm. 

"Laf's right he probably just stayed with her." He put his hand on my back trying to comfort me. 

"Your probably right-" *RING RING*I look down at my phone and see Eliza calling. 

"Hello?" 

"Alex! Is John home?" Eliza practically screamed into the phone. 

"For one ow! and for two no.."

"Sweet Jesus.."

"Why what's wrong." I could feel my body start to tense. 

"Peggy said he left around three hours ago." Eliza sighed into the phone. That's when I went from nervous to panicking.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck.." I pace back and forth across the floor. "Okay meet me here at the dorm at 6am okay? If I don't find him by then we'll let someone know he's missing okay?" 

"Okay.. see you at 6." She hung up the phone and I rushed and grabbed Herc's keys. 

"I'm borrowing your car. John left Peggy's hours ago." I ran out the door before they could reply. I hopped into Herc's car and sped out of the parking lot. Where could he be.. 

I scanned up and down the streets of the campus looking for him. Nothing. He's probably dead in a ditch somewhere, or worse. Someone picked him up and has him captive. What if I never see him again.. why am I so worried? He ditched me... he never called me back, but if he's not gay then.. I guess I can't judge him for not. 

As I turn the corner I see what looks like a bag laying on a bus bench... wait that's not a bag..

"John!"

 

 

 

(I know, I know, I know.. You didn't come here to read PeggyxJohn, but I needed it for the story plot I'm sorry! Please accept this cookie as a peace treaty. *Give cookie* Anyways.. Thanks for reading!!)

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

_Darkness... everywhere I turn it's there. Everything I breathe is darkness. It fills my lungs taking my once lively breathes and turning it into smoke. I run hoping to find a way out, but its **hopeless**. Screams escape, echoing through the emptiness. A small light begins to grow in the distant, growing brighter by the second. I run as fast as I can toward the light, air finally making it through my lungs and quickly getting knocked out as I hit the ground in front of the light. I look up and see a doorway with a figure in the light. I try to move closer to it, reaching out my hand hesitantly. As I do I feel my hand graze something smooth... a.. face?_

_"Come on out.." The figure mumbled grabbing my hand._

_"What.." I pull my hand back, but it's grip is too strong for me. "Let me go!" I begin to panic. What's worse, being stuck in the darkness or live with fear with the figure._

_"Come on out, I won't let anything hurt you.." I see a smirk form on it's lips as it tries to pull me out of the darkness. "John-"_

_"Stop leave me alone! I don't want to leave stop!" I cry trying to find something to grab onto._

_"JOHN! Get up!" It screamed loudly._

_"What- NO!"_

I gasp jolting awake freezing and covered in sweat. I look to my side and see a frightened Alex.

"Alex..?" Tears begin falling down my face in hot, heavy clumps. I can't tell whether I'm crying because I'm relieved he's here with me or from the pounding in my head. 

"John oh my god, we've been looking for you everywhere." He wrapped his arms around me making me cry even more.

"I'm so sorry, I'm so stupid." I sob more causing me to shake uncontrollably.

"It's ok John calm down.. Your freezing let's get you home." I tightened my grip around him nuzzling my face into his shoulder. I felt him tense up as I did so.Â 

"John.."

"Carry me." I smile softly wiping away a tear.

"Okay.."  He said hesitantly before picking me up and taking me to the car. The heat of the car made me shake more.

"How long was I there?" I mumble trying to keep my eyes open. The pain in my head was near unbearable.

"Over three hours.. why didn't you stay at Peggy's?" I tensed up looking away from him into the mirror.

"I don't want to talk about it.." I bit my lip as the memory flashed through my brain in huge clumps of embarrassment. He nodded and dropped the subject. After reaching the house I tried to step out of the car to only feel my legs fail underneath me.

"John!" Alex ran around the car to me lying on the ground.

"Ouch..." I mumble sitting up against the car with a chuckle. Alex snickered slightly picking me up bridal style. My cheeks immediately flushed. Why does this make me feel so... happy. I can't continue to run from the..

"Are you feeling sick?" Alex looked down at me. His hair layered across his face. He looked so exhausted.. he stayed up all night for.. me.

"Just a little.." I mumble still shaking softly.

"You'll be lucky if you don't catch a fever." Alex shifted me in his arms softly so he could open the door.

"I'll be okay.. thank you for helping me.. even though I was a total jerk." He walked me into my room and laid me down onto my bed softly. I could feel his warmth on my chest as he hovered over me slightly making me blush more. I looked down and just remembered my shirt was at Peggy's.

"It's okay.. I'm just glad your ok." He smiled putting his hand on my cheek before snapping back suddenly. "Uh.. I'm sorry.. I'm going to go make you something to drink." He rushed out of my room closing the door behind him leaving me confused.

**Hamilton's POV**

Stop you can't do that. You can't just touch him like that. It's different now..

I sighed as I took various ingredients out of the cabinet and fridge including eggs, coconut water, ginger, tomato juice, and bananas. All the things to cure a hang over. I hope that's all he'll have. Being outside in the cold with no shirt... shirtless... I mean it's not good for him. I pull out the blender and start putting the various items into the blender. Not the best mix, but it works. After everything's in and ready I blend the items. It turned into an ugly brown, orange color.. kind of like the weird pork chop and carrots baby food.

"Hey." I jump slightly looking up to see Herc and sigh.

"Dude don't sneak up on me like that." I chuckle pouring the drink into a cup.

"What is that..?" Herc comes up sniffing the glass and pretending to gag. "Gross." He plugged his nose sticking out his tongue.

"It's for John's hangover." I say smiling.

"Ohhh so your taking care of him now." Herc smirked nudging my elbow.

"It's not like that-"

"Really? Cause like a week ago I swore you had the hots for him." Herc chuckled taking out a chip bag.

"It's different now.. So what did you and Lafayette do while I was out looking for him." I change the subject hoping it won't come back.

"Nothing much... mostly just talked until he fell asleep." Herc smiled towards the room.

"You should tell him how you feel." I say smiling at him.

"What?! Are you crazy?" Herc laughed pulling out some chips. "He's straight for one and for two I'm not risking a friendship over a silly crush." He shoved some chips into his mouth, munching loudly.

"For one chew with your mouth closed and for two," I walked up to him and put my hand on his shoulder, "Are you really sure its just a crush." I look him in the eyes and walk towards John's room once more.

**John's POV**  

After what feels like years he finally came back in with a gross colored drink. 

"What took you so long, slave." I teased him smirking softly. 

"I'm sorry your highness, but I made it by hand.. well blender." He chuckled sitting on the side of my bed. "Drink up." He handed me the drink.

"Do I have toooo." I looked into the cup. I was about to sniff it before he stopped me. 

"Don't smell it.. just trust me it will help." He smiled softly. He looked so exhausted, but still as handsome as ever. 

"As you wish." I chuckled. I took a deep breath in and chugged the drink down. "Oh my god." I said between gags and coughs. "That was horrible. What was that?"

"It doesn't matter as long as it helps." He chuckled rubbing the back of his neck. "How are you feeling?"

"Better.. I guess." Why does he have to be perfect. He has stayed up all night for me, taken care of me, and been sweet to me even though I showed him no respect. 

"Alex.. I'm really sorry for everything-"

"It's ok John I understand."

"No you really don't I should have called you back.."

"John I understand your straight-"

"What?" I look him in the eyes. "You think I'm straight?"

"Well yea.." I could see his cheeks flush as I lean in closer a bit.

"Alex-" I don't get to finish as Eliza barges into my room. 

"Hey babe, Hercules said John was bac- Oh hey John." She smiled softly holding a small grocery bag. 

"Babe?" 

 

(Hey hey hey! I know I posted two yesterday, but I felt bad for skipping a week last week so I wrote three to make it up to you guys. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and feel free to leave any ideas or just anything in the comments. It makes my day! Anyways, thanks for reading and I'll have my next one out by next Wednesday or earlier. Thank you!) ~Yrs_Forever

 


	7. Chapter 7

_Darkness... everywhere I turn it's there. Everything I breathe is darkness. It fills my lungs taking my once lively breathes and turning it into smoke. I run hoping to find a way out, but its_ **hopeless** _. Screams escape, echoing through the emptiness. A small light begins to grow in the distant, growing brighter by the second. I run as fast as I can toward the light, air finally making it through my lungs and quickly getting knocked out as I hit the ground in front of the light. I look up and see a doorway with a figure in the light. I try to move closer to it, reaching out my hand hesitantly. As I do I feel my hand graze something smooth... a.. face?_

_"Come on out.." The figure mumbled grabbing my hand._

_"What.." I pull my hand back, but it's grip is too strong for me. "Let me go!" I begin to panic. What's worse, being stuck in the darkness or live with fear with the figure._

_"Come on out, I won't let anything hurt you.." I see a smirk form on it's lips as it tries to pull me out of the darkness. "John-"_

_"Stop leave me alone!" I try to run back away from the creature into the darkness, but it's hold is too tight as it pulls me into the light. The light blinds me as I try to squirm away, but it's helpless.. I'm helpless._

I gasp jolting awake once again from the same stupid nightmare. Why can't things be like they were before.. why can't I just have normal dreams and normal thoughts and that would be ok? Everything can just go back to normal.. but it can't. Not as long as Alex..

_"Babe?" I look from Eliza to Alex, bewilderment covering my face. I don't care if they see it or not._

_"I'm glad your ok John." She smiled, but it looked fake. Her sister must have told her._

_"Oh I guess I never told you.. this is Eli-"_

_"I know who she is, but what is she?" I look at him in the eyes as I try not to sound too bitter._

_"She's my girlfriend.." Alex smiled softly at her as she grabbed his hand. My stomach tightened as I looked at them._

_"Oh." I smile softly with a nod, "When did this happen?"_

_"It's a funny story-"_

_"Funny?" Eliza chuckled, "You basically ran me over."_

_"Let me tell the story." He laughed squeezing her hand, "Anyways, I went to the store a few days ago for school supplies and as I was turning the corner I knocked her over."_

_"After he helped me up, and said sorry a million times, I asked him if he wanted to get some coffee with me."_

_"And we just kind of... clicked." He smiled at her and then to me._

_"I'm sorry I didn't tell you-"_

_"Don't be, you had no reason to tell me. We just became friends if that.. so don't be sorry." I tried to smile, but it probably was more of a grimace._

_"John-"_

_"You two should probably head home," I cut him off, "Thank you for everything, please turn the light off on your way out." I melt into my bed covering myself up._

_"Sleep well John." Eliza smiled turning off the light as Alex followed._

_"Goodbye John.." Alex closed the door as tears streamed down my face._

_"Goodbye.." I mumbled and drifted off._

I sighed opening my eyes. What a horrible night.. I look over to the clock. 10:49am... CRAP!

I jump out of bed tearing off my clothes and throwing on the first clothes I find in the closet. 

"I'm going to be late to class!" I scream as I throw my hair up into a sloppy bun, grab my backpack and run out of the room towards my class.

 **Hamilton's**   **POV**

"Hey Alex." Herc walked into the café as I was wiping down the counters.

"Hey Herc, what can I get you." I smirk slightly as I lean on the counter. 

"Now you look chipper." he smirked back never losing eye contact with me, "Coffee, black."

"Wow adventurous today." I chuckled ringing up his order.

"Well I need something to keep me up for class. Speaking of which why are you at work today don't you have class?" He pulled out his wallet.

"I do, but I have the morning shift until 10:30, then I'll head to class. $2.75" 

"Ah I see well I guess I'll see you later then?" 

"Later." I smiled closing the register and handing the order to Aaron.

After what felt like years the shift finally ended. 

"Ah Alex!" Aaron ran after me."

"Oh.. Hey Aaron." I smiled softly at the man running towards me. I forgot we were on speaking terms. 

"Alex... is it ok if I walk with you to class? I don't quite know where it is.. I changed majors this summer and-"

"Yes, its fine." I smiled turning back around to walk." 

"Thanks.. So what major are you going for?" Aaron caught up to me.

"Well I'm going for law and minoring in English and writing." I say proudly. 

"Ah, I'm going for law too.. but I'm taking a writing class to help with the study.."

"Nice." I smile softly at him. We really did have a lot in common, but there's just something about him that causes us to fight. 

We walk into the class and I can see his jaw drop. The class was pretty nice looking I guess. The room was lit with chandeliers with a high ceiling for honestly no reason. The seats were those of an auditorium with a wooden board covering each seat. You could really tell it was a private college. 

"Your catching flies." I chuckle closing his mouth.

We both take a seat and wait for class to begin. 

"Okay students welcome to Advanced Writing. Please open you la-"

"I'm sorry I'm late!" John barges into the room clearly sweating from running. 

"Late on the first day Mr... Laurens." The teacher clicked his tongue, "You better be on time next time or your not coming in." John nodded and turned away flushed.

I can't help but stare at him, but he soon sees me. "Where were you?" I mouth to him.

"Overslept.." He mouthed back sleepily. 

"Dingous." I tease him as I smirk.

"How rude." He chuckled causing the teacher to turn our way, but he doesn't say anything. 

The class went on forever. We hadn't really learned much as he mostly just ranted about his syllabus. 

"Now for your first assignments you are to write a 50 page essay about love, life, and prosperity and how they do or don't mix." 

"Easy-"

"But," he smirked looking upon the class, "You have to do it with a partner." Great...

"Okay here are the partners." he began as I looked around the room. What if I get stuck with someone who I don't know.. what if I get John.. will that be awkw-

"Alex and... John"

 

  **Thank you for reading and I'm sorry it's a little rushed. I had already written this chapter, but it somehow deleted so I had to rewrite it. Please leave comments bellow I love to hear any suggestions you may have or just anything you would like to say! Thank you and until next time!**

**~Yrs_Forever**

 


	8. I’m so sorry for not updating..

Hey everyone it’s Yrs_Forever. I would just like to apologize for not updating on schedule these past 2.. 3 weeks? I have been really stressed and busy with school and my job just opened again (it’s an ice cream shop) and I haven’t had time to write, but I will be publishing one later tonight, I promise. Also give me some topics, ideas and such you would like to see. I love hearing your guys ideas! Anyways I hope you like these up coming chapters and please continue to read. I will try to get back on schedule! 

                                 Yours Forever,

                                      Yrs_Forever ❤️


	9. Chapter 8

**John's POV**

John looked over Alex after hearing them being paired. Of course out of all people..

He sighed packing up his books and walking out the door. Thoughts swarmed his head about the project and Alex. 

_I mean we're getting closer and he's a really great guy, it's just.. it's going to awkward.. alone with hi-_

"John!" His train of thought gets cut off as he turns around and sees Alex running towards him.

"Oh, hey Lex." He smiled waiting for Alex to catch up. 

"You rushed out of their so fast," He stopped panting a little, "I couldn't find you at first, but Burr showed me which way you went." He smiled walking beside John.

"Yeah I couldn't handle that hell-hole any longer. You'd thing a professor in writing would at least a little creative or fun or actually a human, but nope. He speaks so monotone and he's just overall not interesting at all." John chuckled looking over at Alex.

"True." Alex chuckled, "Hey I was wondering if you would want to work on the project tonight? I mean, I have work tonight, but we could work on it during my breaks and when I'm cleaning."

"Sure.. or I mean we can go get something to eat now and work on it? I don't have anything else today." John fumbled with his fingers slightly not looking at Alex. He strangely felt nervous by his own question. 

"I'm sorry I can't.. I have a date with Eliza." Alex smiled looking at John. 

"Oh, right I guess you should hang out with your girlfriend.. I mean that's totally more important than the project." Some venom could be traced in his voice. He tried not to be too rude, but he was honestly a little mad. Not for the fact that he didn't want to do the project. That didn't even really cross his mind. It was something else.. He really didn't understand why he was upset.

Alex looked at him more stopping in his tracks. "Are you really going to act like this whenever I talk about Eliza?" 

"I'm not acting like anything." John kept walking straight not looking at Alex. 

"Fuck you John." Alex turned around and walked the other way. John felt a pang in his stomach. Like someone had stuck a sword in his stomach then just left it there. He took a deep breath and walked away towards his dorm to start making ideas for the essay. 

**Alex's POV**

"I don't know what's wrong with him.." Alex sighed taking a drink of his coffee and looked up at Eliza. 

"Look I doubt it has anything to do with you. I mean you guys just met a little before going to that bar right?" Eliza took a bight of her food looking at Alex.

"Uh.. yea." Alex lied. What he can't just tell her that he had a crush on John and he ignored so then he started dating her. She would get the wrong idea.. also what if she was against gays.. stop Alex don't think that way. e

"Well that night he did have a little thing with Peggy that blew up. Maybe he doesn't like us because he's jealous? Or maybe he doesn't like me because I'm her sister." Eliza pointer her fork slightly gesturing to his plate. "You haven't even touched your food, eat."

"I mean I guess that makes sense.." Alex nodded taking a bite feeling a little better. "Thank you Liza." He smiled. 

After they finished eating he smiled and got up. " I have to head back to my dorm and get ready for work, but I'll see you later okay, love?" He smiled and kissed her softly. 

"Okay, bye Alexander." She smiled and left. He headed back to his dorm and walked in to find a panicked looking Herc. 

"Are you okay..?" Alex closed the door confused and walked up to Herc. 

"It got leaked.." Herc said quickly as he paced. 

"What..? Herc calm down.. what got leaked?"

"Our messages!"

"So..?" 

"We talked about LAF! Oh my god their all going to know.. I mean I don't care what people think about me.. so what if I'm gay I don't care.. I DON'T care. But Laf can't know.. Oh my god I'm screwed.. Him and our friendship is over.." Herc continued to pace. Alex looked up at him and saw the fear and panic in his eyes.

"Herc it's okay.." He pulled him into a hug, "Laf is not going to stop being your friend.. who leaked them?"

"It's under and anonymous, but I think Thomas.. him and I have never liked each other.." Herc breathed in shakily. 

"Herc it will be okay. Maybe Laf won't see it-"

"He will, I know he will. It's everywhere." 

"Then theirs only one thing you can do." Alex pulled him out of the hug holding his arms and looking at him. 

"Move to Canada and rename myself Herbert?" Hercules said sadly. 

"No.." Alex chuckled, "You've gotta go tell Lafayette how you feel." 

"But.. what if he rejects me?"

"Then you can learn to move on and you guys can try to build back your friendship. It's better if you come clean before he finds out." 

"I guess your right.." Herc sighed, "Thank you Alex." 

"No problem Herc. Now I'm late for work, but let me know how everything goes, alright?" Alex smiled grabbing his coat and apron. 

"Okay." Herc smiled weakly as Alex walked out the door.

"Poor Herc I hope everything goes okay.." Alex mumbles to himself before running towards the coffee shop looking down at his watch. 

"Alex your 5 minutes late." Burr greeted him as Alex ran in. 

"Noooo I thought I was right on time." Alex gave Burr a fake smiled tying his apron around his waist. He went up to the front counter with a sigh as he looked at the line gradually grow. Soon a familiar face joined the bunch of hungry animals- I mean people. 

**John's POV**

John sighed walking down the street not wanting to walk into the café. He had his notebook and laptop making him physically prepared to work with Alex, but not mentally. He really didn't want to see him right now. 

He walked into the café and saw Alex waiting on people. Seeing him at work like this reminded him of when they met.. the way he felt.. the way Alex changed him. Suddenly a sense of regret filled him. He shouldn't be here he needs to leave. 

He was about to turn around to go when he made eye contact with Alex. 

"Shit.." John mumbled smiling slightly and waving. He finally got to the front of the line. "Hey Alex." 

"Hey.." Alex didn't look at him directly. "Here.." He handed him a Chai tea. 

"You remembered my order still?" John chuckled looking at the cup and pulling out his wallet. 

Alex nodded and stopped John from moving his hands "No it's on the house.. Just sit in this chair over on the side of the counter and begin the essay. I'll be over in a few to help." 

John looked at the tea then to Alex kind of shocked and confused before nodding and going to the chair. He sat down and after about 30 minutes or so Alex finally joined him. 

"Okay, so I've started the essay.. I went with that love, life, and prosperity do mix-"

"Why?" Alex started wiping the counter so it looked like he was working. 

"What?" John stopped and looked at Alex. 

"Why do you think they mix?"

"Well I mean-"

"How would you even know if they mix? Do you have a source of income?"

"Well no.."

"And what would you know about love-"

"Excuse me since when did this project become a bash on John essay. I'm just saying what I believe." John crossed his arms looking at Alex.

"And all I'm saying is you don't know what love is." Alex continued wiping the table. 

"You don't even know my life." John glared at Alex, "And how would you know? Oh, since you've been dating Eliza for what, two weeks you know what love is?" John scoffed as he began to type more.

"Hey, don't bring Eliza into this. Just because you and Peggy didn't work out doesn't mean you get to hate on her-" 

"This has nothing to do with Peggy.." John stood up from the chair closing the laptop. He was ready to leave. What's the point in working with someone so incompetent- 

"It is all about Peggy. Just because you two didn't work out, doesn't give you the right to hate on Eliza and me. It's not my fault she wouldn't go all the way with you." Alex smirked as he saw John stop walking towards the door. John turned back around and looked at Alex and walked back over to him and got closed to him grabbing him by the collar. 

"What-" Alex tried to speak, but got cut off by John kissing him. 

John pulled away after a minute and looked at Alex dead in the eyes "That's why I didn't go 'all the way' with Peggy." and with that John walked out.

 

 

**//Hey Guys! I'm so sorry for the late update. This is actually the third time I wrote this one chapter.. I just couldn't get it to a point where I truly liked it, but I'm going to just give it to you guys since it's been so long. I am planning on posting three more this week to make up on some lost time. Again I'm really sorry. Please don't hate me lol. Okay well Love you all!! Until next time**

**~Yrs_Forever**

 


	10. Chapter 9

Lafayette’s POV 

 

“Class dismissed!” 

 

“Finally.” Laf yawned standing up. He walked out of class not paying much attention to his surroundings. 

 

“Well hey there.” Laf was stopped in his place by a much taller man in front of him. 

 

“Oh.. hey Thomas.” Laf looked away from him.

 

“How’s IT going.” Thomas smirked and Laf bit his tongue. 

 

“I don’t know what your talking about.” Laf hissed 

 

“Oh really because I think I remem-” Laf grabbed Thomas by the arm and pulled him to a side hallway.

 

“What do you want?” Laf crossed his arms feeling uncomfortable. 

 

“Oh well if your asking.. I want Peggy off my back. She’s cute and all, but she’s not Angelica.”

 

“And how do you expect me to do that?” Laf glared at him.

 

“Well.. that John kid is your friend right? I mean, have him chat her up. He’s good looking enough. I mean nothing compared to me, but yea.” 

 

“Easier said than done.. John.. isn’t much of a ladies man-“

 

“What? Is he gay?” 

 

“I mean I don’t think so.. he says he’s not-“

 

“Then maybe he just hasn’t tried before. Just get him out there okay. I can’t deal with her anymore.”

 

“And what, if I don’t your going to out me?” Laf said trying to keep his voice from shaking.

 

“No. But I will do something worse.” Thomas nodded and walked away. Laf sighed sinking to the floor. 

 

“I hate that guy..” 

 

*2 hours later * 

 

Laf took a deep breath thinking to himself.

 

“Okay you got this.. just take him to the bar, have him chat with Peggy and boom. Problem solved.”

 

Laf walked up to John’s door, guilt flooding through him before he walked through the door.

 

“Mom bon ami get up.” Laf grabbed John forcing him to stand up. 

 

“Laf stop that tickles!” John laughed, “What is it?” 

 

Laf looked at John and forced himself to smile. 

 

“Your going out with me and Herc!” 

 

(If you can’t tell by now this is all placed before they went to the bar and all the stuff with John and Peggy happened. Time is now going to be skip to when John was missing and work it’s way from there. Sorry to break the 3rd wall I just wanted to make sure you all knew what was going on :) )

 

Laf tapped his foot impatiently staring at the door. 

 

“Laf.. you need to calm down.” Herc sat next to Laf putting a blanket around him.

 

“Calm down.. CALM DOWN? How could I calm down this is all my fault..” Laf looked down holding in tears. 

 

“Marquis.. you can’t blame yourself.” Laf froze hearing his first name. 

 

“But I’m-“ Laf hesitated. He can’t tell the truth. Herc would hate him.. he would never understand.. “I’m the one who made him go..” 

 

“Because you were a worried friend. Your intentions were good. Not trying to blame him, but this was his decision. Not yours.” Herc smiles wrapping an arm around Laf. 

 

“Yea not my fault...” Laf sighed drifting to sleep. 

 

Laf woke up the next day and got ready for school. John was home safe now, Herc said, and he is just hung over. Stuff didn’t work out with Peggy though.. Laf sighed leaving the apartment and heading to school. Thomas was not going to be happy about this. 

 

He walked into class and looked around, hoping to not see Thomas in class. Sadly he was sitting in his normal spot. Glaring at him. Laf hurried and looked away. 

 

“Huh.. Madison’s not here..”

 

*After Class* 

 

“Finally ove-“ Laf felt a hand wrap around his arm and pull him into a hallway. 

 

“Wha-“ Laf couldn’t finish what he was saying, the wind getting knocked out of him as his back was shoved into a locker.

 

“I really had more faith in you that John would work. But no! Instead Peggy is banging on my door at 2 in the morning bawling!”

 

“I’m- I’m sorry.. I can’t make him feel for her..”

 

“But now its worst than before! God I really didn’t want to do this but you’ve left me no choice.” 

 

“Do what?!” Laf tried to free himself from Thomas’s grasp, but he lets him go and walks away leaving Laf sitting there speechless. 

 

Laf walked out of the hallway and started his trek home. He could feel glances stabbing through him like tiny daggers. He hadn’t felt like this in years. Not since.. 

 

*bzzbzzbzzbzz*

 

Laf looked down at his phone to see John calling. 

 

“Well I guess I should explain everything..” Laf sighed answering the phone call. 

 

“John.. hey.”

 

“Laf! Have you seen the post??! I can’t believe that Herc is-“

 

“What?”

 

“You haven’t seen.. Hercs messages to Alex got leaked... I think you need to take a look at it.” 

 

Oh my god guys it’s been so long since I last posted it’s honestly ridiculous. I’m really sorry. I have been having a rough few months, but I’m back and better than ever. I’m refreshed and I’m ready to do this again. No more breaks, no more problems, no Korea writers block. As you can tell I’ve changed this up a bit, but it’ll go back to lams soon. Just enjoy and I’m going to post one to two every day for a while. Again I’m really sorry.


	11. Chapter 10

Hercules POV 

 

“Oh Laf, answer your phone..” Herc sighed putting his phone in his pocket. He grabbed a jacket and ran out of the house. 

 

“I don’t know what I’d do with out him..” 

 

**Last Year** 

“Ughhhh” Hercules looked up at the school annoyed, pulling his beanie down more.

“A new place of hell-“

 

“Don’t touch me tall ass!” A shorter looking version of him shoved past him. 

 

“Uh.. Sorry.” Herc looked down and back up again to see the guy running to catch up with a taller man with puffy hair. Beside him was a shorter man with puffy hair in a high pony tail. He took a deep breath and continued walking up the stairs. 

 

“Fag” the taller man chuckled tripping him causing Hercules to fall to the ground. 

 

“Really Thomas? Was that really necessary?” The man in the pony tail sighed.

 

“Yes Lafayette it was, I mean, what guy takes fashion.” Thomas laughed taking Lafayette away with him. 

 

Hercules stayed on the ground for a moment taking deep, shaky breaths. 

 

“I’m sick of this..” Tears pricked at his eyes. He stood up quickly and walked to his dorm room. 

 

“I can’t do this any more... I don’t want to be here any more.” Hercules started walking faster to his dorm. “I’m not going to do this anymore.” Hercules took in a deep breath ready to be in his dorm for the first and last time. 

 

“Oof” Hercules felt a thud hit his chest and saw him hit the ground. 

 

“Oh.. I’m so sorry..” Hercules reached his arm out to help him.. Lafayette up.

 

“It’s okay..” Lafayette stopped what he was saying when he saw Hercules wrist. It was covered in scars old and new. Herc pulled his arm back wiping his face. 

 

“Are you okay?” Laf looked up at him.

 

“Yea.. it’s nothing.” Herc looked away from him, “I need to get to my dorm-“

 

“Let me go with you. We can talk, like friends.” Laf smiled at Herc causing Hercs stomach to flip.. in a good way. 

 

“You don’t have to-“

 

“I want to.” Laf clasped his hands together. “From now on, it’s a ritual now. I will come to your dorm and just talk with you. 

 

**Present day**

And he did. Every day. And that’s how the trio was formed. Just Herc, Laf, and then John. Everyday. He owed Laf his life. He can’t lose him now. 

 

Herc arrived at Lafs dorm and pounded on the door. 

 

“Laf please open the door! Please..” Herc reached for the door knob, and opened the door. Herc ran through the dorm.

 

“Laf!” Herc ran into Laf’s room to see him sitting on the bed staring at the wall. 

 

“How long?” Laf didn’t turn to look at Herc.

 

“..since the day you saved me.” Herc went over and sat beside him. 

 

“Saved you?” Laf looked at Herc. 

 

“The day we met. When I ran into you. I know you saw my wrist and you wanted to help. But you don’t know the real reason why I was trying to get to my room so fast. I never wanted to tell you.. because I didn’t want you to see me any differently. I was rushing to my dorm because.. I was going to.. I was going to leave.. this world. I wanted to end everything.” 

 

“Hercules..” Laf teared up 

 

“You saved me that day. Without you.. I wouldn’t be here today. That’s why I didn’t tell you how I felt. I didn’t.. I don’t want to lose you.” Herc took in a deep breath. “This doesn’t have to change anything. I know your straight and that’s fine. I love being just your friend-“

 

“Hercules.. I haven’t been completely honest with you either. I.. never really wanted to tell you or anyone. But I need to. This is my fault, for all of this.” Laf started to take off his shirt.

 

“W-what are you doing?!” Hercules put his hand on Lafs to stop him. 

 

“It’s okay.” Laf smiled and took it off revealing two scars on his chest. “I’m.. I’m trans.” Laf chuckled softly tearing up more. Herc just kind of stared at Laf for a moment before smiling and hugging him. 

 

“I never told you because, like you said, I didn’t want you to see me differently. No one here at the college knows.. besides Thomas. As you know he’s my cousin, but these last few days he has been using my gender identity as a way to black mail me to try to get John to date Peggy to get her off of Thomas’s hands... but it turns out he was actually planning to expose your sexuality to hurt me, through you. My guess is that he used Madison to get your messages since he is a computer genius. I’m really sorry I didn’t tell you earlier.”

 

“It’s okay Lafayette, I understand. You know I will always love you as you are no matter what. You are the same person you were to me before you took off your shirt.” 

 

Laf smiled happily wrapping his arms around Herc causing Herc to blush. 

 

“Sorry..” Herc pulled away, “it’s going to take me some time to get over.. this crush.” Herc looked away embarrassed.

 

“It’s okay..” Laf used his finger to push Herc’s face towards him. “I never said you had to do that.” Laf blushed softly leaning in, kissing Hercules softly.

 

Hello!! Sorry I posted this late tonight lol thank you again for reading and know I love you all so much! Thank you for sticking with me even tho I have been so inactive ❤️ Have a lovely night!


	12. Chapter 11

**John’s POV**  

 

John was laying on his bed looking up at ceiling. He still couldn’t believe what happened last night. John touched his lips thinking about it. 

 

“JOHN??” Laf barged into his room causing John to sit up quickly moving his hand to his side weirdly. 

 

“What the fuck Laf?!” 

 

“Oh.. sorry didn’t mean to barge in on you-“ 

 

“I wasn’t doing anything! Just.. thinking. Knock next time okay..” John looked away, his cheeks flushed. 

 

“Okay, okay mon ami.” Laf chuckled 

 

“Why did you come in any ways?” John rubbed his eye realizing he hadn’t slept all night. 

 

“Oh yea!” Laf blushed slightly “Hercules and I.. kissed!!” 

 

John just kind of froze there looking at Laf. 

 

“Wh- what?? You? And Herc? But- I thought- you were.?!”

 

“Straight?” Laf chuckled sitting next to John. 

 

“Well, yea?” John sat trying to process it. He knew Hercs messages got out that he liked Lafayette but he did not see it ending like this. 

 

“Well his messages got leaked and one thing led to another.. and then we kissed! Oh my god it was amazing!” Laf giggled plopping completely on the bed.  

 

“That’s so awesome Laf!” John smiled weakly. He was really happy for him, but he couldn’t help but be a little bummed. He now had Herc and now John only had.. well, no one really. Unless.. 

 

“Are you okay John?” Laf looked at him softly. 

 

“Oh, of course! I’m always alright. Just goofy old John.” John chuckled, standing up. He needed to find Alex and see what was going to happen with them. “It was great talking with you and I’m really happy for you, I just need to go.. um.. find Alex to talk about our essay! Do you know where he might be?” 

 

“Oh yea, he’s probably at work. He usually works morning until his class at 10.” Laf smiled 

 

“And you know this because??” 

 

“Morning Instagram coffee, duh” Laf chuckled. 

 

“Of course.” John chuckled grabbing his bag and walking out. 

 

John walked to the cafe looking around a bit nervously. 

 

“Come on John be confident, be confident..” he whispered to himself as he walked into the cafe and got in line. 

 

“Confident, confident, confident..” 

 

**Alex’s POV**

 

_“It’s not my fault Peggy wouldn’t go all the way with you.” Alex smirked when he saw John stop._

 

_“Ha that’ll do it..” Alex was thinking to himself but saw him turn around and charge towards him. Alex braced himself to get hit when John grabbed his collar. But nothing happened._

 

_“What..?” Alex looked up at him and felt John push his lips against him. Alex’s eyes widened as John pulled away._

 

 _“That’s why I didn’t go ‘all the way’ with Peggy.”_  

 

“Ughhh” Alex turned onto his stomach stuffing his face into his pillow. “Why can’t I stop thinking about that kiss..” Alex looked up sighing. He sat up stretching out and walking to the kitchen. 

 

“Herccccc do you want some breakfast?” Alex shouted opening the fridge.

 

“Herc?” Alex closed the refrigerator taking a bite from his apple. “Where is he-“

 

_**CREAKKKKKKKKK** _

 

“Stupid door..” Herc mumbled and jumped to see Alex in the kitchen. “Oh, hey Alex! I- uh was just out getting some air..”

 

“In last nights clothes?” Alex smirked pointing his apple at Hercs clothes. 

 

“Okay.. you caught me.” Herc chuckled, “I stayed with Laf last night and to answer your questions, no we did not do it, yes we kissed, no I don’t know what we are, and yes everything worked out.” 

 

“That’s awesome Herc!” Alex smiled hugging him. “I’m so happy everything worked out for you.” Alex squeezed him tighter. 

 

“So how was working with John last night?” Herc smiled getting out of the hug to go to the kitchen. 

 

“Oh that..” He can’t tell him now what happened.. he can steal his moment.. 

 

“You know awkward like usual.. nothing out of the ordinary.” Alex threw away his apple and grabbed his bag. “Well I have to go to work! Again so happy for you and Laf, see you later!” Alex hurried out the door. 

 

Herc looked at the door confused. “Okay??” 

 

Alex sighed walking to the cafe. 

 

“Why is this bothering me so much.. I’m with Eliza! I can’t just leave her for John... I mean he probably was just making fun of me. Yea! Because he knew I used to like him. Yup he’s just my friend that just so happened to kiss me. So I don’t need to tell her. Everything will be fineeee” 

 

Alex walked into the cafe, still mumbling to himself as he put on his apron. “Everything will be fine..” 

 

“Alex! Your on time today.” Burr nodded at him avoiding eye contact. 

 

“Hey I gotta try to be a good employee.” Alex smiled coldly at him and turned to the counter to start working. 

 

The shift went on slowly for the first hour with little customers. Alex started to zone out again thinking about the kiss...

 

“Alex?!” Alex snapped out of it to see John standing there. Alex jumped back his face turning bright red.

 

“Oh- hey - John.” Alex mumbled, his face just getting brighter red.

 

“Hey Alex.” John smiled leaning on the counter slightly. 

 

“Do you want some tea?” Alex tried to calm down a little. 

 

“Oh sure.” John smiled “do you mind if I walk with you to class?” John smiled softly. 

 

“..yea that’s fine..” Alex sent his order back “that’ll be $3.70.” 

 

John nodded “See you soon.” He smiled walking to his seat leaving Alex stuck in his thoughts once again.


	13. Chapter 12

**Alex’s POV**

 

“Leaving early?”

 

Alex looked up at Burr as he put his apron on the hook. 

 

“Yea I have a class to go to..” Alex smiled weakly at Burr and then looked at John taking a deep breath. Burr looked over at John and frowned. 

 

“Sure. Class.” Burr walked away annoyed.

 

Alex looked at John and felt his cheeks turn red. How can he act the same around him after last night..

 

Alex walked around the counter and stood in front of John.

 

“Hey.. I’m ready.” He smiled avoiding John’s eyes. 

 

“Great!” John smiled standing up. 

 

They walked out of the cafe walking beside each other, Alex clearly keeping his space from John as they walked. 

 

“So.. why did you want to walk with me?” 

 

“Well I figured we should talk about what happened last night.” 

 

“W-what do you mean last night?” Alex blushed looking away from John. 

 

John looked at Alex his face flushed “you know what I’m talking about.” John chuckled “you know it’s kind of funny seeing you as the flustered one for once.” 

 

“I am not flustered.” Alex crossed his arms 

 

“Oh really?” 

 

“Rea-“ Alex stopped, feeling his back being pushed softly against the wall of a tiny shop. He felt John’s hand reach his chin forcing him to look him in the eyes. 

 

“Seem familiar?” Johns face, only inches away from Alex’s, is a bright red making his freckles pop out more than usual. 

 

“J-John..” Alex squirms under John, his heart beating crazily. 

 

“I know.. this is unlike me,” John kept his eyes on Alex’s, “but I messed up before. I really like you. I haven’t been able to admit that to myself, but I do. And I know your with Eliza, but I can’t stop thinking about you.” A image of trees flashed over his causing him to drop Alex’s chin. 

 

“John..”

 

Trees and sun started flashing in his vision, the sound of children laughing. A pain started to form on John’s scar on his chest. He grabbed it softly knowing the vision. His fathers face echoed in his head...

 

“I know I shouldn’t have brought this on you..” John started to back away, his confidence slipping away. 

 

Alex grabbed John, pulling him into a kiss. John leaned into it slightly feeling small tears prick at his eyes. The memory slipping away in the kiss. 

 

“Do you know how long I waited for you to say that.” Alex smiled at John, John’s face flushed as usual.

 

“How about you come to my house tonight, at 7. I’ll cook dinner and we can talk about everything.” Alex smiled wiping John’s cheek softly.

 

“That sounds good.” 

 

 

**Sorry it’s been so long since I posted, school started and I had soooo many AP assignments**


	14. Chapter 13

**ALEX’S POV**

 

Alex tapped his foot looking up at the clock. The class was moving by slowly and all he could think about was John. 

 

“Alex!!” Alex jumped out of his daze looking at the teacher.

 

“Huh?” 

 

“If your not going to pay attention then you might as well just leave Hamilton.”

 

“I was just-“ 

 

“Leave Hamilton- that’s an order.” Mr. Washington nodded towards the door. Alex stood up and walked out of the classroom.

 

“I can’t believe I got kicked out of class.. I’ve never been kicked out of-“ 

 

*BEEP BEEP BEEP* 

 

“Wha-“ Alex grabbed his phone to see Eliza calling, “shit..”

 

“Hello?” Alex answered cautiously.

 

“He’s gone..” Eliza cried into the phone taking shaky breaths

 

“Deep breaths, whose gone?” 

 

“My dad.. he was.. so healthy I don’t know what happened..” she balled more 

 

“Just calm down, where are you?” 

 

“The house.. but I can’t stay here it’s too sad.” 

 

“Here just come to my dorm, just calm down.”

 

“Okay..” 

 

**JOHN’S POV**

 

“And you just kissed him?!” Laf shouted stuffing popcorn in his mouth. 

 

“Yea! Oh my god it was the best.. I felt, I don’t know..”

 

“Free?” 

 

“Yea.. free..” John smiled thinking of Alex.

 

“What about Eliza?” 

 

“I didn’t think of that.. I mean he probably will let her know. Or we can. I won’t do anything till they are off-“ 

 

“So your planning on doing something!” Laf giggled shoving John’s arm. Johns face turned bright red.

 

“NO no I was just erm saying you know..” John squirmed “look at the time I should be heading over there.” 

 

“It’s only 5 you still have a couple hours.” Laf chuckled 

 

“Hey it’s always good to be early.” John giggled, walking out the door. 

 

On his way there John smiled looking at a small flower boutique. He grabbed a few small flowers, paying the lady and walking off. 

 

**ALEX’S POV**

 

Alex looked in the mirror combing his hair. 

 

“Okay.. Eliza will be here by 4:30 and then I’ll get her out of here by 6 and I’ll cook for John and everything will be all right..” Alex sighed looking in the mirror. He hated sneaking around like this, but he couldn’t break up with Eliza now. Not right now at least..”

 

  * DING DONG •



 

Alex opened the door to Eliza running into his arm. 

 

“Uh..” Alex wrapped his arms around her softly “It’s okay..”

 

“Thank you for letting me come over.” Eliza looked up and smiled 

 

“It’s no big deal.. I didn’t really have anything planned.” Alex smiled weakly sitting them on the couch. “Just remember your not alone.” 

 

Eliza nodded cuddling into him. Alex looked at her smiling softly, forgetting about John for the moment. 

 

“Yea.. I remember when I lost my mom I thought it was all over.. but it will get better.” 

 

“With you here with me.” Eliza smiled looking up at Alex.

 

He smiled kissing her softly. Eliza smiled into this kiss softly pulling Alex over her. He smirked softly moving his hand up her shirt stopping at her stomach. Something felt off..

 

 Alex opened his eyes slightly and saw John standing in his peripheral vision. Alex hurried and sat up seeing tears in John’s eyes. 

 

“John I..” John looked Alex in the eye dropping the flowers in his hand on the ground as he walked out the door. 

 

**Hey guys sorry for for the late post once again. School is finally calming down and I should be able to post more and I may even start another story. Not lams though.. it will be a surprise!**

 


	15. Chapter 16

**John’s POV**

 

John ran out the door feeling tears prick at his eyes.

 

“John!” Alex ran out looking both directions, seeing John rushing for the stairs. “John!”

 

“Leave me alone Alex!” John shouted opening the door quickly. Alex slammed it shut blocking John’s walk way. “Alex move-“

 

“No John please just listen.”

 

“Listen to what? Oh are you going to say that it meant nothing, oh that it just wasn’t a good time? Just cut the bullshit okay?! I want to go.”

 

“No John, really, I felt nothing, I love you.” Alex put a hand on John’s face. John looked at his eyes before looking away.

 

“Alex.. do you know how hard it was for me to kiss you. To tell you how I feel?” John’s face turned pale as he thought of his dad. “I went through hell.. never knowing what was wrong with me. Now I know.” John looked up. “I’m gay.. I’m trying to be happy for one fucking time in my life. I don’t need to be hurt anymore.” John tried to push away.

 

“I’m so sorry..” Alex thought back to all the times John has spent with him. Thinking back it was obvious John was hurting. “I really didn’t know John..”

 

“Of course you didn’t Alex!” John turned to look at Alex in the eyes. “You don’t care about anyone, but yourself.” John wheezed a bit. “Look.. I fell for you and I got clobbered, you then fell for me and I still somehow got clobbered. Yet again, I fall for you and yet again I got clobbered. I’m tired of being clobbered..” John turned around.

 

“John..”

 

“Goodbye Alexander.”

 

** Hey sorry this chapter is so short.. my account got hacked and I was unable to fix it until now. I had some chapters lined up, but they were deleted. I had to rewrite this one and it is shorter than before. I’m sorry guys and I will post again soon <3 **

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks For reading my fellow Lams shippers! (Credit to my sister for helping edit)


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